Quick Jokes & Thoughts on The Debt Ceiling

I know the debt ceiling crisis is still unfolding but it’s Blog Mondays so I had to stick a pin in it somewhere.

I was in Vegas all week and am about to drive back to LA. (And where is our high-speed rail connecting the two cities? Spend! Spend!)

I did end up doing some jokes onstage here at the Improv at Harrah’s. Here are some of those jokes, some tweets, and some thoughts… some funny, some serious. And I gotta drop this quickly before I hit the road, Jack. Here goes:


  • What the government should do is take all $14 trillion, come to Vegas, go to the roulette table, and put it all on “RED.” Try it – see what happens. [This got the biggest applause of any joke all week.]
  • Speaker Boehner, come to Vegas. The House always wins. [I didn’t do this one onstage but he was my Representative in Ohio.]
  • I came up with a way of reducing the debt by 25%. Remove the letter “b.” [Thanks for all the comments last week, guys.]
  • We should change the debt ceiling to a debt roof. Obama could do something then. Black are good at raising the roof. [This made me an enemy on Twitter who later became a friend.]


  • We shouldn’t be having this debate now. I agree w/ Bill Maher’s analogy. We’ve already eaten the food. We need to pay the bill. To extend this metaphor, you don’t try to pay off your credit card debt when you can’t afford your gas bill. This is a ridiculous time to cut much-needed spending.
  • As far as taxes, I think we can definitely raise them a bit. Billionaires are not solely job-creators. SOME of them create jobs. But a lot of them are investors and real estate moguls. They’re not all business owners. But even still, I’ll go along with not raising taxes right now. Just raise the debt ceiling and have this debate during budget approval time.
  • I mostly blame the Republicans. Most do. But Obama messed this up by not submitting a budget based on the findings of the very debt commission he created.
  • This is mainly a political problem. We’ve raised the debt ceiling a bunch in the last several decades. This is all part of a ploy by the GOP to follow up on Sen. Mitch McConnell’s plan to make Obama a one-term President. They’re just trying to limit his power so he can’t spend any money on any of his ideas.
  • Obama is like the US dollar. Not a good bet but where else do you put your money?
  • This whole debate only serves to show that NO form of government works because ALL societies consume more than they produce. That’s all.

Finally, we essentially came up with two choices: Kick The Can or Kick The Bucket.

What a situation. Stay tuned…

5 thoughts on “Quick Jokes & Thoughts on The Debt Ceiling

  1. What happens in Vegas MUST stay in Vegas! :p As usual, on dot and super funny. Now to find a way add 25% to ‘my bank account’.

  2. I would have liked to see the CEO’s of the auto companies and banks grill the members of Congress on whey they couldn’t manage this, why the american people should re-elect them, and then constantly interrupt them with stupid questions that make no sense so that they could experience some of their own stupidity.

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